March 12th, 2008
i just had to cancel my surgery i was supposed to have next week.
some sort of preexisting hold waiting perioud nonsense with my insurance since ive only been with them since november.
i am devastated.
im so tired of being in such intense pain all the time.
i could handle it when i drank and smoked every day. to be completely honest, the constant pain is one of the myriad of reasons that i did smoke and drink every day.
i hurt so bad all the time now.
i dont know how im going to stay sober until august hurting this much. yea, august. thats when i get to have surgery now.
i dont know how im going to do this.
but i will.
the resignation that i will be living in intense pain for another 4 months is weighing down real hard on me.
and the tide of disappointment is overwhelming.
|Date:||March 12th, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)|| |